I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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