I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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