Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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