Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize