so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You pole danced in your parka.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Randomize
