She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
