I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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