My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize