Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
