The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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