Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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