he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
