I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
