You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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