I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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