How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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