ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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