so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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