I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
