For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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