Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
