I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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