He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
