I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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