I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
