# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
her vagine was all disorganized.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.