So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.