ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject