Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.