Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.