My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.