Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
