Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
