smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
