turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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