rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
