nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
