watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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