tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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