My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
