apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
