My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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