All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
