is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
MIDGETS
????
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
