Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
These tits shall not be calmed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
