The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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