your thong is hanging out like whoa
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
