covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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