she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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