Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
