if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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