I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
