In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
