Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
