It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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