He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
