Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
