from now on my penis is your penis
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.