ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize