Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
