I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
